And it begins ...

Today is the first day of what should be a three week tour, a threeee wee-eek tour across the southern United States. We're not exactly sure where we're going or when we'll get there, but one thing's for sure - nobody better try to stop us!

Let me introduce the players.

John "Pop" Dodgen - Founder and owner of Dodgen Industries, a company headquartered in Humboldt, Iowa (birthplace of yours truly) that manufactures Born Free motorhomes. He's also an entrepreneur, salesman, one-time restaurateur, bear grin-downer, and my grandfather.

Wanda "Gram" Dodgen - Norwegian (second smartest of the three?), driveway walking champion, bestower of the "artpatart" moniker, Mexican food connoisseur, self-taught masseuse, Younkers' number one patron (despite having returned everything she's ever purchased there), and my grandmother.

Then there's me - Brandon. You may know me from such adventures as Huck Finn 2010. Or you may know me from the infamous copperhead incident. What's most likely, though, is that you don't know me at all. Hopefully that'll change soon!

Every trip begins with me forgetting something. Before we even got out of our driveway, I had to run inside to grab my sleeping bag. Then I spent the day believing that I forgot to bring my new FM Transmitter and trying to decide whether to have it overnighted to Florida, only to find it in my backpack.

But once we got on the road, we had a good day - with the exception of a scare on the passenger's seat that turned out to be melted chocolate from a Kit Kat wrapper, it went smoothly.

Probably the highlight of today's trip was the New China Buffet and Grill. We saw their billboards - bold black letters shouting "Chinese Buffet" against a taxi-cab yellow background - and decided we had to stop.

When we pulled into the parking lot, I had some misgivings. This was strip mall Chinese. I had a really bad experience with strip mall Chinese once ... It's hard to think about without gagging ... Essentially, what started as a delightful meal ended with me extracting a golf ball sized hairball from the back of my throat. If you're ever in Marion, Indiana, do yourself a favor and avoid the New Main Moon.

But back to the New China Buffet and Grill. I began thinking happy, hairless, general tso filled thoughts and walked in. It turned out to be quite a spread and surprisingly good! Their crab rangoons, while lacking even imitation crab, were filled with a light, sweet cream cheese - almost as good as the ones from that place next to Heartland Crossing in Mooresville. Nealy knows what I'm talking about ...

For those of you who, like me, love the chicken dishes, I've ranked them here, starting with the most tasty:

1. Cajun Chicken
2. Sesame Chicken
3. Honey Chicken
4. Kung Pao Chicken
5. General Tso's Chicken

Kinda weird/sad that General Tso's made such a weak showing, right? Also, I did not try the "Chicken on the Stick" ... 

Gram, who is the official judge of all family dessert making contests, wasn't a fan of the apple pie. She decided "this doesn't taste like your mom's apple pie." Pop assured her that "this isn't your mom's apple pie - it's your Chinese mom's apple pie. You just didn't know it tasted like that cause you never had it before."

Here are more points in New China's favor - I got the best fortune I've ever received! I love it! Does this remind anyone of a certain classic videogame?

If you're ever in Chattanooga and want some apple pie just like your Chinese mom used to make, stop by the New China Buffet and Grill. It's just west of Chattanooga at exit 174 on I-24. It shares a parking lot with Walmart - you can't miss it.

Tonight we're in Macon, Georgia. Tomorrow we'll go to the Born Free lot in Clermont, Florida to pick up our Born Frees. After a day or two in Florida, our caravan will begin its westward journey.

Hope to see you along the way!

PS - Happy Birth-O-Ween, Vi!